Perhaps infected them. All those individuals reported that they had never ever been with male lovers or had exposure to medical transmissions or inserting medication usage (we failed to ask if individuals were created with HIV or other feasible dangers of transmission). Although problematic for them all to know, the sole possible path of transmission and behaviour that is risky could report had been sex along with other females. All individuals additionally claimed they had been surprised to learn they was indeed contaminated with HIV and might maybe not know the way it had happened. That they had all thought that they were safe because they had only been with women:
“…i really couldn’t know the way it just happened because I happened to be fine and I also thought we (lesbians) are safe, and also the only person I happened to be intimately active with has also been a female. I possibly couldn’t comprehend… I really couldn’t realize. I really couldn’t know how I possibly could have contracted the herpes virus whenever I had thought I became safe in method! ” Zanele, 31 yrs old, Durban
“It’s the manner in which you get badly infected as a lesbian since it’s really confusing exactly just exactly how it will be possible. Other ladies understand from their lovers during penetrative sexual activity then again as a lady that is a lesbian whom additionally sleeps with other ladies – it is rather confusing. Which they obtain it” Lebo, 22 yrs old, Pretoria
The individuals’ confusion and disbelief is obvious through the examples that are above. Within the quote that is first Zanele repeats just exactly how she “couldn’t understand” being HIV infected. This feeling of confusion and very nearly perhaps not believing any particular one is HIV good ended up being a recurring theme for the five individuals whom reported exclusive intimate connections with ladies in their life time. It stays uncertain for several of them just just exactly how transmission that is possible happen between females.
For those individuals, coping with HIV demands constant explanations of how one got contaminated as assumptions override lived realities. Not just are individuals struggling to realize feasible disease on their own, they simultaneously struggle to respond to constant concerns from other people about how precisely they may be contaminated:
“People think you got HIV that you have slept with a man and that’s how. It creates my entire life much harder because as being a lesbian girl whom is HIV good, i must explain the way I got HIV. ” Bongi, 33 yrs old, Johannesburg
“In the city they raise numerous questions regarding the very fact they see…my partner is a woman that I am a lesbian and when. Then, `how did I be HIV good once I have always been someone who really really loves other females? ‘ they ask. Some even get in terms of saying it isn’t astonishing that We have HIV – where have actually we have you ever heard that a lady and another woman may be involved? ” Gugu, 30 yrs old, Durban
It really is obvious through the above quotes that their HIV status that is positive different difficulties within the life of the ladies. The demand that is constant explain an individual’s status to other people implies that you can still find misconceptions about HIV transmission in conjunction with lack of knowledge about same-sex relations.
Individuals had been additionally expected should they had disclosed their status to anybody aside from the interviewer. Reactions suggest that virtually all individuals had disclosed up to somebody, some loved ones and few friends. But, a participants that are few just disclosed to 1 or two other people. Some had disclosed to members of the family, buddies and in addition publicly. One of the participants had been a couple of AIDS activists who had been known within their communities to openly be living with HIV. For anyone individuals who’d disclosed to family unit members and buddies, disclosure had been couched into the language of protection – i.e. Protecting yourself and another from possible illness:
“As I would like to protect the following individual, we still need to perform some exact same for myself. I might in contrast to to obtain re-infected…As very very long you can nevertheless get re-infected. While you continue having unsafe sex, ” Zintle, 22 yrs old, Pretoria
“My mom as well knows (about my HIV status) because that she must use gloves to help so she won’t be infected” Gugu, 30 yrs old, Durban if I collapse in front of her she must know
All stated the necessity and importance of disclosing to intimate partners while participants may shy away from disclosing to the general public. Central to such disclosure is protecting somebody and ensuring she doesn’t get badly infected:
“Most associated with lovers that I became dating – many of them are now actually HIV negative and we just be sure that they’ll constantly stay HIV negative. I would personallyn’t risk their everyday lives and We just be sure that I would personallyn’t do anything…” Taati, 26 yrs old, Windhoek